I’ve spent most of my life traveling alone. Not because I don’t like people, and not because I’m chasing some deep spiritual quest. It just happened that way. I had no one to go with and one trip led to another, and before I knew it, solo travel became the norm.
Over the years, I’ve come to realise that being on your own in a foreign place teaches you things about yourself you can’t learn any other way. It can be incredible, eye-opening, and yes, sometimes incredibly tough.
This isn’t a list of travel hacks or Instagram moments. It’s just the truth about what it’s like to travel alone for long stretches of time, what it gives you, and what it quietly takes away.
1. You Build Confidence the Hard Way
As a naturally introverted, shy Englishman, I wasn’t exactly built for bold solo travel. I wasn’t the type to strike up conversations with strangers or throw myself into unfamiliar situations. But traveling alone changed that.
It didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t easy, but it pushed me to confront my fears and get over my own inhibitions
When I first set off in the 1980s, things were very different then. There was no internet to rely on. No Google Maps, no apps, no emails. Guidebooks were basic at best, and often out of date by the time you used them.
You couldn’t ring ahead and book a guesthouse, and if you could, you had to be lucky if they reserved a bed for you. You had to turn up and hope for the best.
Calling home was possible, but difficult. You often had to find a telephone exchange and waste your 3 minutes battling with a time delay. When you were away, you were truly on your own.
That was character building.
But slowly, I learned how to navigate unfamiliar situations. I got used to meeting new people, even when I didn’t feel confident. I figured out how to manage things on my own.
There’s something about solving problems without a safety net that stays with you. You realise life isn’t as scary as you once thought.
And that confidence doesn’t just apply to travel. It carries into the rest of your life. You become more resilient, more adaptable, and more at ease with the unknown.
Looking back, those early years taught me more than any job or classroom ever could. It was uncomfortable, awkward, and sometimes very lonely.
But it toughened me up. And it gave me a quiet kind of confidence I still carry with me today.
2. You Learn How to Be With Yourself
Being alone in a foreign place isn’t some peaceful, Zen experience. It can feel awkward, uncomfortable, and quite daunting. Especially in the early days.
When you travel solo, there’s often no one to chat to over breakfast, share a laugh with or even share a view. You’re left with your own thoughts, your own company, and your own decisions.
Of course, now there are mobile phones and the internet to help you, but you still have to get out there and do things at some point, or what’s the point?
At first, that can be unsettling. Eating alone in a restaurant feels strange, it still does, after almost 40 years. Sitting quietly in a public place can make you feel exposed, and an easy target for scammers, and hustlers. Occassionally, people will treat you as a celebrity just for being a Westerner. It’s weird.
But over time, that discomfort fades as you accept that it’s just the way it is. You stop worrying about things and just get on with it. You learn to enjoy doing stuff on your own.
Solo travel teaches you how to be comfortable in your own skin. It gives you space to think, to reflect, and to live in the present. That kind of time is rare these days.
There’s something valuable in simply learning how to enjoy your own company and to be. You learn that you don’t have to fill in every minute of the day being productive.
It’s not always easy. Some days you’ll feel bored or lonely or a bit lost. But you learn to sit with those feelings instead of running from them. You soon realise that everything is transitory. Loneliness doesn’t last. Everything comes and goes. Nothing is perminant.
3. You Can Go Your Own Way
One of the biggest appeals of travelling alone is the total freedom to do exactly what you want, when you want, without answering to anyone. You don’t have to explain yourself, compromise, or negotiate. You just go. And that’s incredibly indulgent.
It’s selfish in the purest sense of the word. You eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, move on when you feel like it. If a place bores you, you leave. If it fascinates you, you stay.
No debate. No friction, no compromise.
There’s something addictive about that kind of freedom. It starts to feel normal after a while. The idea of having to consider someone else’s plans or moods can feel like a burden you’d rather avoid. That’s not very flattering to admit, but it’s true.
You end up structuring your days around what feels right in the moment, not what fits into a schedule. Time stretches and contracts in a different way when you’re not tied to anyone else’s clock.
You stop rushing, you make random detours, and spontaneous decisions that might lead nowhere, then again, it might be somewhere amazing.
But the truth is, all that freedom can make you self-absorbed. You get used to putting yourself first. And when you do that long enough, it becomes a bad habit. You lose patience for group dynamics and small talk. You start to resist anything that resembles obligation.
It’s a trade-off. You gain space and clarity, but sometimes at the expense of connection and compromise. Still, for those of us who crave independence, that trade feels worth it. At least for a while.
4. Strangers Treat You Differently
When you travel alone, people notice. You stand out without meaning to. You’re not part of a couple, not in a group, just a single person passing through. That makes you more approachable. You look like you might need help, or at least a chat.
Locals are far more likely to strike up a conversation with a solo traveller. They’re curious. They ask where you’re from, why you’re there, and sometimes invite you into their lives for a brief moment. You get offered lifts, meals, tea, and stories.
You see a version of a place that you’d never see if you were surrounded by company or on a tour..
It doesn’t happen every day, but when it does, it stays with you. A random conversation on a train. A quiet smile of understanding from a shopkeeper. A stranger stepping in when you’re clearly lost. It’s that small, unexpected kindness that makes the world feel good.
You realise that most people are kind.
You also end up talking to other travellers in a different way. You share tables, swap stories, team up and move on. Some of those encounters are ephemeral, but others stick in your mind for years.
There’s no pressure to perform and live up to the ‘type’ of person you are at home. You can throw away the shackles of your culture. It liberates you. You’re not trying to impress or compete with anyone.
You’re just in the moment, open to whatever comes your way. And when you’re open, people respond to that.
The best part of travelling alone isn’t the scenery. It’s the people you meet along the way.
5. The Flip Side: It Can Be Unhealthy
There’s a downside to all this freedom. It’s easy to forget, or avoid, but it’s there. When you’re always off somewhere else, living your own life, the people you leave behind carry on without you. And over time, you drift apart.
You miss birthdays, weddings, and simple things like meeting a mate for a pint or catching up over lunch. At first, people ask when you’ll be back. Later on, they stop asking. You become a guest in your own life back home.
It can put a real strain on relationships. Romantic ones, especially. It’s hard to build anything solid when you’re always looking at the horizon. You can’t really be there for someone when you’re always somewhere else.
Sometimes you tell yourself it’s worth it. You value your freedom, your space, your way of life. And that’s true. But sometimes, if you’re honest, it’s also a way of running from things. From routine. From responsibility. From other people’s expectations.
There are moments when it feels a bit hollow. You see something beautiful and realise there’s no one to share it with. You finish an incredible trip and return to no one in particular.
It catches up with you.
That’s the trade-off. You get independence, adventure, time. But you give up relationships, stability, and a career. You can’t have it all.
Still, knowing that doesn’t always make it easier to change. Some people settle down. Some people keep moving. Most of us end up somewhere in between.
7. What Keeps Me Going?
When you first travel, everything feels fresh. The food is amzing, the sunsets are magical, every new town feels like an adventure. But eventually, the novelty wears off.
The temples blur together, one beach looks like the last, and you don’t want to see another waterfall. Travel becomes directionless. You start asking yourself why you’re even doing it.
That happens to most travelers.
I loved travelling, but neither did I want to drift forever. I needed a reason to keep going, something more than just chasing the next view. I didn’t want to be a tourist all my life. I wanted my travels to mean something.
That’s why I decided to tie my travel into my work.
I was already drawing and watching wildlife, so I found a way to make the two feed each other.
I’d travel in the winter, search for wildlife, take my own photos, and collect references to use for my illustrations when I got home.
I’d turn those experiences into drawings, and then publish them as prints I could sell. It gave me structure. A rhythm. A reason to keep exploring.
I wasn’t just drifting anymore. I was working with purpose. It was research and business.
That changed everything. Travel became a part of my lifestyle, not just a way to escape the crap. It had depth again, and because of that, I managed to keep going for over 20 years.
Why I Travel Alone: Final Thoughts
Solo travel has shaped the way I live, for better or worse. It’s not the dream life people imagine, but it’s real, and it’s mine. It has taught me things I’d never have learned any other way.
Over the years, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, taken a few wrong turns, and figured things out the hard way. But I’ve also found a rhythm that works for me. One that gives me freedom, keeps me grounded, and lets me live on my own terms.
If you’re curious about how I’ve built a life around travel and creativity, I wrote it all down. My book shares exactly how I turned my art into a full-time income, how I fund my adventures, and how you can do something similar if that kind of life appeals to you.
It’s practical, honest, and based on real experience.
If that sounds like something you’d find useful, take a look here:
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Hi, I’m Kevin Hayler
I’ve been selling my wildlife art and traveling the world for over 20 years, and if that sounds too good to be true, I’ve done it all without social media, art school, or galleries!
I can show you how to do it. You’ll find a wealth of info on my site, about selling art, drawing tips, lifestyle, reviews, travel, my portfolio, and more. Enjoy